5 Surprising Truths About Dating Someone With High Functioning Autism

Are you starting to like someone with autism?

Around 5.4 million adults in the United States have autism spectrum disorder (ASD). They live with a lifelong condition, but some are high-functioning.

These adults with ASD can handle basic life skills and live independently. However, dating someone with high functioning autism can be challenging when you do not know how to deal with the matter.

Fortunately, our guide can help. Continue reading below for five surprising truths dating on the spectrum.

1. They Love Quiet Time, But They Still Love You

People with high-functioning autism love their quiet time. Dating with autism is more effective when you choose a silent place. Maintain calmness while taking on some fun date ideas.

The best places to spend the first date include a cozy café. You can talk about your favorite books or share stories.

You can also go on a casual stroll in a park. Find a cool and shady spot to keep yourselves comfortable. Sometimes, you may feel your date wants to be alone.

Interaction with the outside world can overwhelm people with ASD. It does not mean they hate you. If they ask for some alone time, let them have it.

It is normal when it is their first time going out on a date. The experience and the feelings are new, and it takes time for them to process. Let them absorb everything and do not think you did something wrong.

2. Eye Contact is a Challenge

Adults with ASD easily fixate on things, making it hard to establish eye contact at times. Some people get the wrong signal, thinking their date is hiding something.

Establish a safe and honest atmosphere where both parties can be open about anything. Express how you feel and encourage them to do the same.

People on the spectrum may also struggle to control their actions. Certain levels of autism exhibit Asperger’s Syndrome. They may talk about different topics revolving around them.

Sometimes, they stick to one or two topics the entire night. They may show hypersensitivity to sounds, textures, and bright lights. Others may sound loud, robotic, or high-pitched.

3. Routines are a Must

People with high functioning autism also value routines. They develop a daily routine, following each to the dot. If changes in their schedule disrupt it, they will still make sure they complete each task.

Encourage your date to stick to their routines. If they must do something during your date, let them. Sudden changes in their daily routine can make them feel upset or anxious.

Adjusting and merging your routines with theirs allows people with autism to feel comfortable. Ask about their daily tasks and schedule. Learn the pattern and adapt your daily schedule.

Try not to veer away from your agreed schedule. If you promised to do something together at a specific date and time, keep your word.

4. They Have Great Emotional Capacities

Contrary to popular belief, people with autism can read emotions and feel empathy. They can feel the same feelings other people do. Some studies reveal they have a higher emotional capacity than people with no ASD.

The challenge is they do not know how to express these feelings. They rarely show grand emotional displays and rarely exhibit responses or reciprocations. In turn, most people see them as apathetic or even devoid of any emotion.

Understand how they like you, but they cannot distinguish whether you feel the same. People with autism struggle to read social cues and engage in small talks.

5. They Can be Brutally Honest

Lastly, expect your date to be brutally honest in some of their responses. Whenever you ask a question, expect blunt answers. If you ask what they think about your outfit, they will have no qualms about saying their opinions.

Despite their bluntness, understand how people with autism have no intention to make you feel bad. They call things as they appear without thinking about your feelings. In the same way, whenever they praise you, you know they say it with all sincerity.

If you react with sarcasm, it will not affect them. Autistic people will take your words as they are. When you argue about something and say, “go away,” they will take it literally and leave without hesitation.

While being careful with your words is crucial, never think twice about being direct. Keep things clear and consistent by telling your date what you want. Do not hint at something you want them to do since they likely won’t pick it up.

Tips for Dating Someone with High Functioning Autism

Dating someone with high functioning autism takes a lot of hard work. Like most people, they also desire the physical aspects of being in a relationship. Ask them about their preferences about touch.

Some feel discomfort when you hold their hand or kiss them. Take things slowly and give them a lot of space.

Ask a lot of questions but give them time to process. A question can overwhelm them, regardless of the complexity. If they need to make a decision, don’t force them to answer quickly.

On the flip side, allow them to ask you about anything. It is an excellent way to earn their trust and make them feel comfortable with your relationship.

Be more patient during your dates and avoid showing irritability. Show them the same respect a person without ASD deserves.

Find a Perfect Match Now 

With these essential facts on dating someone with high functioning autism, you can better understand a person and respond more effectively. Also, we hope this guide dispelled some misconceptions. Always keep an open mind when you start talking to someone with ASD.

Do you have ASD and wish to meet potential matches? If so, you came to the right place.

We are a members-only community, helping adults with disabilities connect with like-minded people. Consider registering today, and let us become your Special Bridge.